Types of Underachievers
Introduction
To be effective at motivating individuals, it is important to have a meaningful theory as to why individuals are not motivated. Motivation, and lack of, does not occur in a vacuum. It is influenced by personality development and is a response to the way that personality handles the various demands encountered (academic, vocational, organizational, economic, societal, and interpersonal). To achieve there must be appropriate personality development, both intellectual and emotional. In terms of motivation, it is the emotional development of an individual that is most important. It is within this context that we will discuss those who lack motivation and underachieve.
The Center categorizes underachievers (those who lack motivation) into four basic developmental types: The Distant, the Passive, the Dependent, and the Defiant. These categories are not mutually exclusive. While an underachiever may be predominantly one type, most likely there will be some characteristics of the other types as well. This is important to keep in mind when responding to an underachiever. Additionally, the dominant type of underachiever may change over time, depending on various influences.
The basic developmental stages that categorize the types of underachievers are stages that we all go through on our way to maturity. For most individuals these states are relatively brief and of limited intensity. We enter the stage, react, learn, integrate and move on. For an underachiever this is not the case. Underachievers become "stuck" at a stage (or regress from a later one) and do so with heightened intensity. The result is confusing and anxiety provoking for everyone involved, including the underachiever. Underachieving individuals often have no clue as to why their behavior is as it is. Confounding this is the tendency for these individuals to be at different stages regarding different aspects of their personality: their emotional level is below their chronological level and, usually, considerably below their intellectual level.
Motivation and personality development is very complex and because each individual and situation is unique, discussions of generalities have limitations. However, with this in mind, it is important to take a broader view so as to better understand specifics through a consistent theoretical base.
This article discusses the four types of underachievers. The first, and most immature, type is the Distant. The second type is the Passive. The third type is the Dependent. The fourth type is the Defiant.
The Distant Underachiever:
Distant underachievers have difficulty with issues of personal trust and certainty. Developmentally, Distant underachievers are at an earlier stage of emotional development than other underachievers. Distant underachievers’ patterns emerge early in life, generally within their first few years. They usually have had a disruption is appropriate early nurturing. Distants usually have experienced loss circumstances such as loss of a parent, frequent moves, traumatic illness, loss of a close friend or cherished pet. They fail to establish mutual trust in building lasting relationships. They are often preoccupied with, yet frightened of, situations that entail trust. Uncertainty for them is especially difficult. Broken trust is the key factor for distant underachievers. Having had their trust broken they experienced traumatic emotional pain. Distants do not want to be hurt again, so they avoid closeness, making themselves emotionally unavailable. They withdraw from emotional contact and "distance" themselves from others on an emotional level.
To protect themselves from the uncertainties of human relationships, Distants may focus on solitary pursuits, withdrawing from the social mainstream. Doing this diminishes the possibility of rejection and allows them to more closely control and predict their environment. Changes in their closely controlled environment are often seen as a threat. Lacking a strong sense of self, Distants’ identify boundaries are blurred. What happens to others is often taken as happening to them or because of them. Their solitary activities define consistent boundaries for them in which they can experience a consistent identity. Because of this Distants often avoid relationships or limit them to a superficial level. This is a protective strategy to avoid being emotionally hurt.
Distant underachievers can be good students, but generally are so only in selected areas. They generally do better in areas that require technical knowledge. Their discussions tend to be analytical and abstract. Actually, Distants are lonely, distrustful, and have a intense fear of personal abandonment. Because they are emotionally immature, their relationships and interactions often focus heavily on their own needs rather than mutual needs. They have low frustration tolerance, often acting impulsively, erratically, and without appropriate regard for consequences. Often reacting immaturely, Distants fail to express themselves in productive ways. They seek immediate gratification and do not generally understand the concept of sacrificing now in order to meet later goals. The attitudes of Distants often lead to social isolation, school problems, premature job transitions and short-term, superficial, relationships. Distants are often unduly influenced by others, even thought they are not in the social mainstream. It is as if they are on the "outside," but trying, unsuccessfully, to imitate those on the "inside." Substance abuse, as an attempt at self-medicating their inner turmoil, may be their eventual response to their unhappiness.
With Distant underachievers is especially important to be sensitive to their considerable anxiety, distrust and fear. Inconsistency is frustrating for Distants and spontaneity can cause them even more anxiety. Remember, their ability to trust is fragile. It is very important not to undermine any trust that you may have established. Be consistent and always follow through with any commitments. Even things such as being five minutes late for an appointment can be very defeating to Distants, causing them to withdraw even more. One must interact very slowly with a Distant, giving of oneself, but not asking, or even expecting, anything in return. Forced closeness overwhelms Distants. Allow the Distant to get involved vicariously by casual discussions of your experiences. Spend time discussing relationships in non-personal terms. Allow Distants to be on the edge of discussions and gradually draw them in with short, non-threatening, interactions. Try to get them involved in reading about people, not just things. Be very consistent and explicit when it comes to rules, limits, expectations and consequences. Make minimal emotional demands on Distants. Be with them frequently, though only for short periods at a time. Of all underachievers, the Distant underachiever is the least mature and the most difficult to change. They are extremely fearful that they will be hurt.
The Passive Underachiever:
Passive in their own interests - that is the description of "Passive Underachievers." Passive underachievers focus on the acceptance by, and the approval of, others without consideration for their own needs. Academics, work performance, and the development of personal values are all significantly affected by Passives' inordinate desire to meet what they perceive as the expectations of others. The key issue for Passives is that they find their self-worth and identity externally - through the approval of others. Anxiety for approval is the issue. Passivity in their own interest is how they act it out.
Passive underachievers are stuck at a higher level than Distants, but still at a relatively early developmental level. Generally, children go through a normal developmental period in which they try to please authority figures (especially parents and teachers) in order to gain approval of themselves. As they acquire a better sense of self, most children quickly move through that period in which the approval of others is more important than anything else. Passives, however, are stuck at this level (or have regressed from a higher developmental level). They find themselves caught in a circular "Catch-22" situation. Approval from others is so important to them that the thought (even subconsciously) of not getting this approval creates extreme, interfering, anxiety in them. Fear of failure dominates them. Anxiety is no longer a cue for constructive action - it become overbearing. This anxiety overwhelms them, causing them to freeze, blank, respond wrong, do erratic work, confuse directions, and underachieve. Because of this they end up doing poorly and not pleasing anyone - plus they feel terrible about themselves: guilty, rejected and unhappy. This contributes to more anxiety and a greater desire to please, and so forth. Since they feel their adequacy as a person is singularly based on meeting others' expectations rather than on whom they are, any evaluation is extremely anxiety provoking.
Some Passives become compulsive or obsessive to the point they cannot complete tasks. They spend so much time getting ready to work, or correcting and redoing, that the job does not get done. Things seem to never be good enough. Focusing on details, they may miss the big picture. Some Passives are followers, easily influenced by others and trends. Passives often have physical complaints. They frequently have headaches and stomach problems, especially before a test, major assignment, or other situation in which they are judged or evaluated. Their physical discomfort is real - but it is caused by the stress of anxiety, tension, anticipation.
To some degree, a Passive many be a personal favorite of others. Passive underachievers are usually very likeable and they try so hard to please. They will often be among the most responsive individuals, frequently volunteering (even if they do not know the correct response), completing assignments in minute detail (after much discussion about exactly what should be done). However, Passives' projects show few elements of original thought, even when you know they are creative. When asked for personal views, Passives are likely to reflect the views of others rather than give personal insights.
Because Passives are trying to achieve
for the approval of others and not for themselves, they are constantly pressured by what
they believe others want of them. Continual focus on the goals of others does not
allow Passives to experience personal fulfillment from their achievements even when their
goals are the same as those they are trying to please (which is often the case).
Such personal achievement is necessary to develop and maintain self-motivation.
Because of high anxiety and low personal fulfillment, the Passive underachiever will often
respond with ambivalence to the responsibilities of academics, employment, personal
relationships, and future opportunities. Even for the more positive who show some
enthusiasm in performance, consistency in self-motivation is lacking.
Passives do not identify their own feelings as their own. Their sense of self is not
well developed and remains weak as self-doubt and anxiety take their toll. By trying
to avoid disappointing others, they cloud their view of the world around them.
Conflicting expectations or multiple demands from various authority figures can exacerbate
the situation. By not trying, Passives feel they can avoid responsibly for possible
failure and resultant disapproval. Of course, this only further serves to
elevate anxiety.
Passive underachievers need to learn that their value as individuals is not singularly based on meeting every expectation (real or perceived) that others may have. They need to learn how to appropriately assert themselves. They need to learn how to effectively use negotiation and compromise. Activities that develop these skills are helpful. It is important for a Passive to understand personal feelings and wants. They need to understand that differences of opinion, interests, and expressions are normal and can be positive and stimulating. Involve Passives in situations that can have a variety of responses and outcomes. Let them see the merits of personal feelings, creativity, and experimentation. Importantly, Passives need to know, and feel, that failure can be positive - if they use the opportunity as a learning experience. Readings and discussions that show determination and effort in the face of adversity, with numerous choices, can be helpful. Focus on effort, more so than outcome. For Passives, especially, it is important that they learn that perfection is not the goal, but that consistent effort is. With consistent effort they will do well and others will appreciate them.
The Dependent Underachiever:
It’s dinner time. Walking into the kitchen, you find your adolescent working on a science project that has overtaken the entire kitchen. In order to proceed with the family dinner, you need to "help" with the science project, which is due the next morning. You become upset when you realize the project was assigned two weeks ago and now your evening is going to be spent "doing homework." Your adolescent is calm and secure --- now that help has arrived.
A weekend off. No work and hardly any household chores to be completed. You ask your son to rake the leaves in the backyard. When you check on progress, your spouse and your other children are raking. Your underachiever, however, is watching everyone else work. He then asks you to make him lunch. You become angry and begin lecturing. Your anger builds as you realize you are being tuned out.
These are examples of the most common type of underachiever: the Dependent. Underachievement for these individuals allows them to postpone the responsibility associated with independence and thereby postpone independence itself. Others guide, structure, and save. Dependents, while frequently complaining that they want to be left alone, really want others to experience their emotions, solve their conflicts, and take their responsibility. They want to remain dependent.
Academically, dependent underachievers commonly fail to prioritize effectively, often focusing on activities that have little long-term value while ignoring valuable experiences necessary to their futures. They show little interest in core subjects. Usually the Dependents’ goals change frequently or disappear. Dependents often have difficulty choosing areas of study and may experience difficulty earning a diploma or degree. Much of the time they say they are bored. Their effort is inconsistent. They tend to feign indifference; they act as if very little matters to them. When asked about their inconsistent levels of performance, it is most likely that Dependents will blame others or events beyond their control. Dependents are usually creative in their excuses, consistently avoiding personal responsibility for their failures, or even in some cases for their successes. Their explanations serve to deny them control over their circumstances, thereby reducing their anxiety for their continued failures. These underachievers tend to pass their anxiety to others as they passively wait for someone else to take charge of their circumstances.
It is often the case that parents are more concerned or worried than their child about
whether or not homework has been completed or enough time has been spend studying for an
exam. Many a parent has spend an evening or a weekend completing a project for his or her
underachieving child when, in fact, the Dependent may have had several weeks to work on
it. A parent may "jump in," awakening and prodding his or her child in the
morning to ensure the Dependent gets to school or work on time.
Often, parents report these students seem in a dazed state. Parents give instructions to them but the instructions are usually not followed to completion. When questioned by parents or others, these underachievers often respond in a hostile manner. They may complain of being overworked and under-appreciated. They say they want to be left alone.
Dependent underachieves can be charming and active but they have ambivalent attitudes toward authority. They are often resentful and angry toward individuals who attempt to control them; yet, at the same time, they want that control as a way of delaying personal responsibility. Superficially, they respond with indifference, generally withdrawing from adults. In some cases, if Dependents feel overwhelmed by their parents or only see the negative reinforcement of their parental relationships, conflict avoidance through active or passive means takes precedence. They often express anger through passive-aggressive behavior. They may not say anything, but they just will not do anything --- or they will do it half-heartedly. This allows them to view themselves as controlling responses over authority figures. This is a manipulative game. Dependent underachievers may have at one time been good students. Then signs of growing indifference slowly surfaced. Missing, lost, or unprepared assignments become increasingly frequent. It is important to note that this behavior usually begins to occur at about the time these students are required to complete heavier workloads outside the school environment: a major step in personal responsibility. These responses are often subconscious choices made by Dependents to avoid future increased responsibility. As Dependents get older, one can observe their growing irresponsibility and "forgetfulness." This forgetfulness may better be identified as "selective memory." For example: they have no difficulty remembering sporting events and scores, but are often forgetting test dates. The path of least resistance often becomes the norm.
A significant fear for dependent underachievers is that of abandonment. They often perceive they will be abandoned (especially by their parents) if they become successful. They are fearful of the future and of appropriate independence. Dependents believe that consistent performance, and the success which follows, will destroy their relationships with parents and others and leave them alone to face the world. This is very frightening for Dependents. Their perception then becomes that success is negative and failure is positive (because it keeps them dependent and keeps others involved with them). Dependents, therefore, seek negative attention. They feel that through inconsistent and marginal performance, they will become the focus of attention. Unfortunately this is true, but in a negative, immature manner.
Since failure brings attention, dependent underachievers become reliant on others for limits and problem-solving and decision-making functions. Inconsistent punishment or restrictions further entrench their distorted view by helping Dependents act out a ‘victim role." Often, Dependents feel "picked on" and overwhelmed without understanding why they are encouraging so much attention to be focused on them. Remember, dependent underachievers’ behaviors are subconscious; the Dependent does not purposefully decide to avoid responsibility. Rather, Dependents feel anxiety or frustration and give up. Feeling a number of fears, Dependents unconsciously use denial of reality to avoid coping with these fears. This process keeps Dependents immature.
The Dependent’s reliance on these rationales eventually undermines attempts by parents and teachers to alter the Dependent‘s underachievement patterns. Parental and teacher guilt may reinforce these underachievers’ beliefs in their displaced responsibility. By projecting and enhancing such guilt on others, Dependents continue avoiding the responsibility for their own failures to achieve.
The first step in become more effective with dependent underachievers is to realize that underachievement is the responsibility of the underachiever. Parents and teachers much place responsibility and consequences back on the underachiever.
Parents and concerned others need to learn to redirect their energy to aid Dependents in becoming more responsible. Responsibility and consequences must be returned to Dependents in such a way that reinforces in them that they are responsible for their choices. If a Dependent is late for school or work, let him, or her, take the responsibility such as extra work, detention on or being fired. Part of the consequences should be that the Dependent needs to explain (write a paper or talk to the parent) why the consequence was initiated (he did something) and what he could have done to avoid it. If parents feel the need to help with a delayed project, have the child write or discuss why he procrastinated or why he is having difficulty. This will allow the Dependent to use anxiety as a cue to action, not as a message to withdraw from responsibility. Providing assistance to Dependents should happen only after they have made legitimate attempts at resolving their problems. Help should be in the form of guidance, not actually doing the work. This teaches Dependents to accept responsibility, but assures them that others will be a helpful resource.
Because Dependents are highly fearful of the future (even though they usually won’t admit it), they need to explore and discuss their fears and anxieties about specific issues in a non-threatening, indirect manner. You can help by casually bringing up situations in your life, or the lives of others you know. Giving insights into various aspects of adult life is helpful. Especially bring up situations that are anxiety provoking and fearful. Discuss how you would handle these situations. Ask the Dependent to give suggestions and in a non-threatening manner, discuss the merits of these suggestions. Playing "what if" scenarios is helpful. Dependents need to learn how to build appropriate strategies.
Dependent underachievers are highly fearful of the future and the emotions that they feel about these fears. They need to learn and understand that their emotions are cues that can lead them to positive actions. Becoming self-aware, understanding motives and reactions, helps Dependents more easily accept responsibility for themselves. They learn that by appropriately acting on their feelings, they can work though them, be successful, and not be overwhelmed. This process aids in raising their self-esteem and maturity level. In turn, Dependents become more resilient and goal oriented. They learn that feelings of inadequacy can be overcome and success can make them feel good. This helps them become more independent and progress toward maturity.
The Defiant Underachiever:
Returning home, you notice the grass in
the front lawn is desperately in need of mowing. Walking into the house, you find
the family room is a mess. You had earlier asked your adolescent to mow the lawn and
clean the family room before you got home. When you inquire as to why the tasks were
not done, the response is loud and angry: something about too many limits being
imposed and "get off my back, I’ll get to it." Your adolescent
insists that if you would stop "nagging" the chores would be completed without
incident.
This is an example of a Defiant, the fourth type of underachiever.
Defiant underachieving usually begins in the mid to late teens. These individuals are insecure in their sense of self, being caught between independence and dependence. With adolescence, Defiants are just beginning to see themselves as separate individuals in the adult world, but they have not yet solidified this sense of self. Striving to find what role they play, it becomes critical for them to have unencumbered success as an individual. Criticism or other suggestions of inadequacy result in distance, defensiveness, and oppositional behavior.
Defiant underachieves develop frustration when they are unable to easily achieve personal goals, especially when confronted with externally imposed, as well as personal, limits. They hesitate to implement personal choices when they begin to realize that the potential for failure is real. Instead of accepting that they are still developing they flaunt their false-independence by being oppositional. This serves to protect their sense of individuality while avoiding truly being independent with incumbent responsibilities.
Regardless of personal preferences, Defiants frequently and arbitrarily take opposing stances to the opinions and values of the "adult" world. You say "up," they say "down." You change to "down," they say "up." Concealed beneath the rebellious exterior lies a fear of failure and of personal inadequacy. To avoid "failure," the Defiant will often refer to the "oppression" of authority figures as a rationale for underachieving. However, defiant underachievers will provoke such "oppressive" behavior by authority figures in order to insure the continuance of the underachiever’s rationalization of underachievement. In such a way, Defiants reduce the anxiety of potential failure by gaining a transitory sense of control and minimize their need to deal with reality in more productive and responsible ways. Their oppositional behavior continues inflammatory for all concerned.
Defiants are close to maturity, but they are uneasy with it. They are overwhelmed when considering their responsibilities as an adult. Feelings of insecurity lead the Defiants to a lack of responsibility, to not following through on tasks, to being unable to keep commitments, and eventually to a cynical attitude toward limits and authority. They may have inadequate relationships, move from job to job, and "sneer" at others who may be more responsible.
Defiants gain a false sense of security by projecting their feelings onto others. They seem angry with everyone but themselves. Parents and teachers usually bear the brunt of rage from the Defiant when addressing the Defiant’s lack of responsibility and cynicism. Parents usually find a constant state of tensions around the house with confrontations being common.
Defiants are often energetic, creative, open, and aware about things that do not directly effect them; but, they deny much of their reality. For defiant underachievers, the goal is in developing their ability to effectively relate to others and developing their sense of adequacy so they can stop underachieving. Listen to what they have to say and focus on their feelings. Acknowledge that they can make creative contributions and allow them opportunities to do so.
Being dispassionate (staying emotionally calm while still providing guidance and consequences) is crucial in dealing with Defiant underachievers. Although Defiants say "leave me alone," they are trying to engage others in counterproductive emotional battles. A consistent, united, dispassionate parental and school approach minimizes Defiants’ outbursts and their often belligerent attitudes. A schedule of general rules that allow them flexibility will lead to a reduction of tension. When they do not meet their responsibilities, it is important that those in authority remain dispassionate, though insisting that the underachievers follow through with responsibilities or face consequences. However, authority figures should be flexible in "how" the responsibilities might be completed. Defiants need to feel that they have active input into areas that concern them. For example, if a defiant is to paint a fence, parents should let him or her know that they do not care how it gets done (such as using a roller, a spray or a toothbrush) as long as it is neat and well done. Maybe even the color and pattern, and timetable for completion, can be negotiated. The responsibility and the flexibility to achieve then becomes his or hers. Coping with defiant behavior can wear down parents’ and teachers’ resolve to be dispassionate and consistent. Firm outer limits, consistent discipline, encouraging them to express their own opinions and feelings, flexibility for personal creativity, and developing their negotiation and compromise skills, will lead Defiants to more appropriate behavior.
As a reminder to parents of defiant
underachievers: Parents should take time for themselves. In the midst of this
most challenging developmental stage, it is important that parents take time away
periodically to "recharge ." This is a developmental stage, not a war.
© Center for Applied
Motivation, Inc.